You knew it the moment you saw him. He was smart, handsome, a laid back guy, who wears his clothes a bit rebellious. And it hit you. It hit him just the same.
You got together. It was heaven. So easy going. So free.
Then it fell apart. You found out he wasn’t right for you. You lost your trust in him. The respect above all. He wasn’t strong enough, reliable enough, manly enough.
And on top of that you find out that your friends have the same problem with men: They are just not stepping up. These bastards. *smirks*
In the corporate world us women have many things to deal with. We have to step up to make things happen. Oh yes, we are great at it, beating even men out of competition, showing them all, that we can be better. And ladies, don’t we get a high from it? It just feels so good to be in power, to have everything under control. We fly high. Endlessly high.
And it just so happens that men are intimidated by our power, our demeanor, the command we hold tightly in our hands. The sophistication that describes how far up we are on the latter of success.
But is that actually true? Are these men really intimidated?
Having spoken to numerous men in the corporate world, as powerful or even more successful than we are, it came to find out that this fantasy might be a hallucination we have allowed ourselves to fly high on. Men respect successful women. BUT – they are unwilling to have headbutting in their relationships, a constant struggle over power with the woman they love. Those very successful men expressed their desire to have a complimentary partner, as to an opposing one. To have a woman by their side as their greatest partner in all things. These men crave women who know how to be honest without flashing fangs and cutting claws. Yes, we can tear men apart. Emasculate them at the mere sight. One look says it all. No matter how beautiful we smile. The intent to kill (not for fun this time) is written in large neon letters onto our foreheads. In business and in love life.
Doesn’t that seem a bit…..off?
Our businesses are so charged with this highly pumped up adrenaline, that we can’t even come down from it, not even when we step outside of our offices, into our homes. Well, at least not when HE is around. Or is that a lie we’ve been telling ourselves as well? Perhaps we are unable to let this high go, even when we are alone, just by ourselves?
Our expectations of ourselves are high, just like the level of adrenaline pumping through our veins. Yes, we are tired, our bodies relax a bit when we enter the bedroom, in which our silk linen awaits us patiently. We slide into the bed, perfectly relaxed. But our mind keeps rattling an rambling on about what we are missing.
And so our mind keeps nagging about the missing part in your lives- a real man by our side. Someone who can step up to have us feel a bit taken care of. Wouldn’t that be a relief from all of the things you are confronted with all day? Wouldn’t it be a good thing to have a man by your side to hold you when you’re sad? Or angry? Or just plain bitchy because you’re running through your monthly cycle? A man who truly understands you? As a woman in the corporate world? With all of your responsibilities? The upsides and the downsides of it? And the emotions that come along with being a woman? What about if this man could take your storms and prosper in them? How would it feel to be accepted by your counter part? Fully loved. In your entire being.
We often wonder if that kind of man even exists. At least in our lives. And even more times we wonder why those great men, we admire, go for women so weak and pitiful? They appear so fragile and lost, that you wonder what it is about them? Well, his loss! If he can’t see how great you are, then he doesn’t deserve you in the first place. But it still hurts like hell, doesn’t it? Feels like being stabbed or strangled, suffocated or burned.
But here’s one tiny step to take today to make it into his direction, into your direction to be exact.
How would it be if you would truly acknowledge what you want as a woman? From men? From yourself? What is that burning desire inside of you? The one that leaves you restless, disappointed, hungry?
Find this longing. Call it out. Just be aware – it’s in pain. This longing doesn’t have many chances to come out and play. Give it a voice. Make it clear that this craving is accepted, even loved. And that it is loved by no other but you. For this longing is a part of you. And why would you want to resist a part of your own self? To wonder around, split in half. Torn apart by a pain that doesn’t feel good at all.
Remember, what you resist persists.
So, if you like continue to push it aside, back into the dungeon where you once locked it in, that’s fine. Just remember that this look, this alliance with yourself can give you insights which cannot be obtained by looking the other way. By running from the pain that will come along with this. Deep down in your gut you might even feel that you can do this. With or without me.
You are one brave woman.
How I can tell?
You finished reading this article to the end. You might have felt what it means to pay heed to this part of you, now with the new knowledge you have gained.
You can do this.
I believe in you.
~ Joice Joker