We can find plenty of archetypes within us. Some are magicians, warriors, queens and lovers. In today’s times everything is about competition, about booting out the next man, the next woman. We wear our mascara like daggers, our lipstick like poison and high heels to frighten and to spread terror. And whoa! Those archetypes certainly do a great job with that, don’t they?
Yes, their shadows do. And what about the light side of them?
Even if they did function in their sovereign purpose, there is something missing here, isn’t there?
What is it?

Are we ready to receive all of the above while being wounded, bleeding from our hearts, our souls, our sex?

Let me tell you the story of how it came to pass that a healer surfaced, a healer of hearts, of souls. Through ecstatic orgasm beyond bliss.

It was late at night. David and I felt that it would kill us both if we agreed to a legal bond, being captivated within a system’s machinery. We stand for healing, for freedom. Ultimate freedom to allow ourselves to be ourselves. Sure, we would always stand out as leaders of a whole different kind of sexual revolution. One that heals.

But how could I possibly walk my path with him leaving soon, without the capability to heal myself? This wasn’t about the so praised female independence. This was much, much deeper. It had nothing to do with personality. But rather with who I am as a woman. As a living soul. If what I am would wound me this deeply, how could I recover from it after all?

Enclosed we laid in the bed, holding each other. If I was about to lose this….it was pure terror to even finish the thought. I’d given up everything for him. Literally. My heart, my soul, my sex, my life. Was this a bad thing? I feel only pure love when thinking that this was the best I have ever done. A deep sadness holds me when I think about how it didn’t work out the way we hoped it did. So now what? I was wounded. So deeply that I thought I’d die.

And then she emerged. While we went through my persona, what they felt, how they changed, she appeared, in orgasmic healing. Waves clashed over me, gushed through my body as she grew stronger. And I healed. With each orgasm. More healing. More ecstasy. More of everything. More connection with him. Feeding off this energy, my soul turned whole again, my heart beat, for me and him and everyone else who would come into my circles. As a lover, a friend, a coaching client or a quite observer…

“I saw her long before you realized she was there.”
Yes, he most likely did. I was so busy with my own issues that I didn’t take the time to notice. And yet, I recall her being there stronger than ever before, in a session I recently had, with a friend very close to my heart. Her suffering called for the healer’s presence. I noticed and have her to take control. It was the best session I ever had. My own vulnerability was key. To be true to my own emotions and to give permission for another to do so.

Patience. Heart. Tears. Sharing those intense emotions. Allowing them to surface. To have a voice. And knowing about the wonders of time and it’s power over the healing process.

The Healer.
She is light and dark. All the same. She guides into transformation and cuts where it’s needed, to encourage the pain to rise from the darkness of the chasm. To be acknowledged. To be heard and loved. To heal and to transform. Into love and compassion. Into pure life and ecstasy. Into orgasms beyond the boundaries of bliss.

Into freedom. Into true independence. It’s called interdependence. The healer knows that through interaction with others, we grow and heal. Separation destroys the healing process, cutting ourselves off from the flow of life. From the loving compassion of those who surround us. From the collective, we, as human beings, thrive on. A wondrous, sharing, all connecting wave of pleasure and pain, of love and ecstasy, of nurturing and healing, surrounding each and every one of us and connecting us even in our pain, in the suffering we feel.

The healer is only one aspect of me. And how much of an impact it had on the others…

The amazon protects. With more fluidity. Her shields become flexible, acknowledging of those who need another aspect of me during their search for their own truth. Her shadow, the assassin sees more opportunity for release of negative influences. What a change! So marvelous!

The artist colors with more compassion, with a flick of her wrist she guides into brighter worlds beyond imagination. She creates the atmosphere in which freedom is allowed. In which self discovery is the highest virtue.
And ecstasy, of course.
Painting with feathers,
painting with stripes of leather,
With taste and smell,
With sounds and visuals,
with silk and sweat and…
In the endless colors of imagination.

The seductress found her piece with herself.
Luring. Yes.
Play. Yes.
Oh yes, please!
And most of all – no more self deception. The seductress of all other persona is yet still a mystery to behold. She does not know of what takes her down this path. But she feels it. There are no words, except those with which she lures and seduces, through which she is lured and seduced.
Her song is that of the Siren.
Irrationally passionate.

Oh but there is one more. The empress. Her reign over her world is now full of wisdom sprouting from her scepter. Her rule is that of love and possibility. The aim: to give everyone what they need and deserve. Strategies? What other strategy could there possibly be other than that of flow? To encourage everyone to live up fully to who they are and what they stand for? Hardness has left. There is no more place for this in her realm. What a treasure this healer is to everyone!

I might find myself in utter confusion from time to time until it fully holds sway over me in it’s wholeness. I fully and willingly surrender to it. This is my healing through ecstasy. I wonder how I would have gotten there without having the gift of sensual relief, of knowing where my power is…

“Should you take off your relationship status on facebook?”
After all of the persuasion it took him to have me put it up there for the world to see, he now wanted me to take it down? What did that mean? That everything is over? Even the will to make it work regardless of everything? My mind went nuts. If I dissociated from him like this it would be over for sure. Words have such a power over me that I cannot refuse them. In the long run.

My excuse: “Then I’ll have all of those guys on my back again….”. “Ahh, yes.”
I’m still a bit clueless as to what it means to take my status down. To me. I just felt a strong disconnect the moment I would take it down. Just the thought of it. It took me such strength to actually put it up. And now it would take much more than that to take it back down. I know it’s silly to fret over something this trivial. But to me it’s not. It means more than I could ever describe…

“What does that even mean?”
“It means ‘good bye for now’. And only when you’re ready to let me go.”

Now what? Will I do it now? No. Then I will destroy the bond while he’s here. That’s not going to happen.

When he will be out of this place I will take it down. There is no use in holding on to something that once meant a beginning. Taking it down is the continuation of all of this. A transformation.

Suddenly I can welcome it with open arms. Although a deep sadness grips me every now and then, the Healer smiles, even down between my thighs. And it continues throughout my body until my lips do the same. Smile.

Because we are free!

~Joice Joker


Joice and her partner David Esotica work with women to create the ecstatic intimacy in a relationship they crave. They believe in laughing, crying, passion and orgasms. So you can imagine what happens when they talk about sex.

Check out their Facebook pages: